20 Things No One Tells You About Wedding Planning (Relationship Talk)

You won't get Champagne when you try on dresses, despite what rom coms would have you believe.

1. The part where you gaze longingly at cocktails in mason jars on Pinterest and decide what your wedding "look" will be really only lasts five minutes. 

 

Most of your time is spent researching and interviewing vendors, reviewing contracts, writing checks, and trying to get through the never-ending next items on your to-do list.

2. The longer you plan the longer you, well, plan.

 

  If you book your venue 15 months in advance thinking you can get around to the rest of the planning in eight months, you are wrong! As soon as you start planning, expect to be planning until it's all done. So, if you don't actually want to spend a year or more planning, don't start until you're ready to just full-on go for it and totally wedding-up your schedule.

3. That said, if you want to get married on a weekend in a place where it's only warm outside a couple months out of the year, you will probably have to spend a year planning. 

 

If you want to wed on a Saturday in mid- to late June in Boston outside in a luscious garden you will probably have to book that luscious garden more than a year in advance.

4. You don't necessarily get your choice of date if you have it at your house, either. 

 

 If you need to build out a tent and hire a caterer and the companies you want to hire are booked on your preferred date, you will have to find an alternate option.

5. Did I mention I hope you like steeping in logistics? 

 

 Logistics, #logistics, and more logistics please! Just make that your motto as soon as you start planning.

6. You don't save money by having it at your house. 

 

Because every single thing you need for the wedding — every napkin, every fork, every glass, every cushion and every chair — has to be rented and brought in. Not to mention, tents! And these aren't pick it up from a Wal Mart sale bin, hammer a few stakes in the ground, toss the thing up and and call it a day tents. Oh no, wedding tents are the like the Crown Jewels of tents.

7. Flooring a tent can cost $18,000. 

 

And that's just for a 120 person wedding. If you are planning on having, oh, 200? 250? Then floor your tent for $35,000 to $40,000! On the upside, you'll never complain about going to a wedding held entirely on grass again.

8. You save the most money by trimming your guest list. 

 

 You can save money by having a buffet, serving beer and wine only, and DIY-ing the shit out of your tablescapes. However, the greatest savings come from just inviting fewer people. Think about it: the fewer the people, the fewer items you have to rent, the smaller tent you need, the fewer mouths you have to feed, etc. If you're having a hard time trimming your list, just remember that you'll probably want to be able to say "hi" to everyone who comes, and you'll get less quality time with each of them if there are too many.

9. If you get married in a small town your vendor options will be limited. 

 

So if you have very specific taste, you might need to bring in vendors (florist, hair and makeup people, etc.) from major cities nearby.

10. Finding a truly great photographer can be a huge challenge. 

 

An endless number of photographers who try to make people pose with pitchforks and chickens or "goofy" socks (LOLOL no.) or some other terrible schtick are out there. If you don't want to do hokey poses, don't hire a photographer whose portfolio is filled with hokey poses.

11. You don't need dance lessons. 

 

 Get them if you really want them, by all means! But no one is going to judge you if you dance by putting your hands on each other's shoulders/waist and swaying back and forth. Also, if you do go for dance lessons, there's a good chance you'll be thinking more about your routine than how in LovE~* you are on this special day.

12. Registering for gifts sometimes requires an appointment. 

 

 You can conveniently side-step this, however, by arriving without one and saying you didn't know you needed one and won't register at said place unless they let you do it right then and there. More often than not the store is not going to refuse your business.

13. Consider the comfort of your guests.

 

  Yes, this is YOUR DAY, but you have dozens of people traveling to celebrate with you, and you need to consider how you can best take care of them so they feel valued. This means, if you can manage to avoid demanding a black tie dress code for a wedding being held outdoors in June in Texas, that will probably be much appreciated.

14. Sequin table cloths exist. 

 

 Yes. They are fun. Get one for your cake table. You will have the Beyoncé of cake tables.

15. The groom might have opinions.

 

  Everyone thinks grooms just go along with what they're told to go along with, but yours might end up having strong opinions about the girliest parts of it all, like the flowers. When this happens, try to compromise without fighting about it! Centerpieces are not worth fighting over.

16. You might need more than one hair or makeup test. You think you’ll just go with a picture and do a quickie trial run, but just because the style looked gorgeous on the Pinterest Girl or Lauren Conrad doesn’t mean it will work for you. Also, if you’re going to wear extensions, you should probably get the hairdresser to test those pre-wedding, too. Especially if he’s going to cut them to closer to your hair length.

17. It is possible to eat too much cake. 

 

 It sounds crazy, but you might not want to schedule your food and cake tastings on the same day. It’s very exciting at the beginning, but by the time you’re done you’re stuffed. Not stuffed enough to not to finish that chocolate sample, but still uncomfortable.

18. If you’re getting married in a religious ceremony, you might have to fill out a questionnaire about your partner to share with the officiant.

 

  Why do you want to marry him? When did you know? How do you see your future?

19. You won't get Champagne when you try on dresses. 

 

No matter how many romantic comedies have perpetuated this lie. Just get it out of your head right now and plan on grabbing a drink between appointments.

20. Enjoy your dress fittings. 

 

 Because you will probably only wear your dress on your wedding day and the days you have fittings. So enjoy the hell out of it! It's the best dress you'll ever wear and there is no shame in reveling in it. 

 

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