Years ago, I
visited a family with my friends, I will never forget walking into this home
and immediately I noticed that there was just something different in the
atmosphere. I had never met these people before, but within 20 minutes I felt
like I’d known them all my life. They displayed genuine hospitality, care,
love, and graciousness that I had never seen in a home before.
In 2
Corinthians 2:14-15 we read, “But thanks be to God, who in Christ always leads
us In triumphal procession, and through us spreads the fragrance of the
knowledge of him everywhere. For we are the aroma of Christ to God among those
who are being saved and among those who are being saved and among those who are
perishing. “That’s what I could smell in that house – the fragrance of Christ
in the lives of these people who had been transformed by him. I’ve never
forgotten what it was like to walk into that kind of environment. Now the
question for us is: What does it smell like in our homes? If folks walked into
our houses, would the fragrance of Christ be present? Do people look at our
marriages and see and smell the aroma of Christ?
I believe
there are two factors that give a marriage the fragrance of Christ – that make
it distinctively Christian. And both are impossible without the transforming
grace of God.
1. A uniquely Christian has a different
kind of purpose.
When asked why they get married, most people will say
something like, “well, we’re just in
love. “ but behind that statement are a
number of other reasons for marriage:
They’ve
dated long enough, and married is the next step.
There are
economic benefits from combining incomes into one household.
They want
sex without guilt.
They are
adults, and marriage is what’s expected.
They want
someone to take care of them.
They are
lonely, and need the companionship.
They want
someone to escape a bad situation- abusive parents, pregnancy, etc.
Their
biological clock is ticked, and they figure it’s time to start a family.
At the heart
of most of these reasons for marriage is the big me. People are getting married
for self-centered reasons, not God-centered purposes. That describes me as
well.
But there’s
another, higher purpose for marriage that is stated well in Psalm 34:3: to
exalt and glorify God together and to be a demonstration of the gospel to the
world.
2. A uniquely Christian marriage has a
different kind of love.
What does
this distinctively different kind of love look like? Well, again, it starts
with being god-centered; it’s upward and outward instead of being inward.
To be more
specific, Christian love is self-sacrificing, not self-serving love. That kind
of love is different from what the world knows. It is patient, kind, not
envious, not boastful, not rude, not insisting on its own way, not irritable or
resentful, not arrogant, not rude, not insisting on its own way, not irritable
or resentful, not rejoicing in wrongdoing, but instead rejoicing in the truth,
bearing all things, believing all things, hoping all things, enduring all
things (1 Corinthians 13:4-7).
Another way
that our love should be distinct is that it should be a forgiving love, not a
hard-hearted love. Ephesians 4:26-27 tells us, “Be angry and do not sin; do not
let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.”
How many of
you would say, “What I really want for my life is to be in a concerted
partnership with the devil”? But that’s what you’re doing when you hang on to
anger, resentment, and bitterness.
Lastly, a
way our loves should be different is that is should be controlled by the spirit
and not by the flesh. You can’t do this in your own power. Regard your spouse
as more important than yourself? Forgive your spouse just as God has insisting
on your own way? Try doing this consistently in the flesh for more than a day
or so.
Got
something to add to the discussion? Tell
us in comments!
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