Although there are many forms of friendship, some of which may vary from
place to place, certain characteristics are present in many types of friendship.
Such characteristics include affection, sympathy, empathy, honesty, altruism,
mutual understanding and compassion, enjoyment of each other's company, trust,
and the ability to be oneself, express one's feelings, and make mistakes
without fear of judgment from the friend.
While there is no practical limit on what types of people can form a
friendship, friends tend to share common backgrounds, occupations, or
interests, and have similar demographics.
Childhood
Childhood friends
In childhood, friendships are often
based on the sharing of toys, and the enjoyment received from performing
activities together. These friendships are maintained through affection,
sharing, and creative playtime. While sharing is difficult for children at this age, they are more likely to share with someone they consider to be a friend As children mature, they become less individualized and more aware of others. They begin to see their friends' points of view, and enjoy playing in groups. They also experience peer rejection as they move through the middle childhood years. Establishing good friendships at a young age helps a child to be better acclimated in society later on in their life
sharing, and creative playtime. While sharing is difficult for children at this age, they are more likely to share with someone they consider to be a friend As children mature, they become less individualized and more aware of others. They begin to see their friends' points of view, and enjoy playing in groups. They also experience peer rejection as they move through the middle childhood years. Establishing good friendships at a young age helps a child to be better acclimated in society later on in their life
Adolescence
south Asian Female friends joyfully
sharing Lunch
A study examined over 9,000 American
adolescents to determine how their engagement in problem behavior (such as
stealing, fighting, truancy) was related to their friendships. Findings
indicated that adolescents were less likely to engage in problem behavior when
their friends did well in school, participated in school activities, avoided
drinking, and had good mental health. The opposite was found regarding
adolescents who did engage in more problem behavior. Whether adolescents were
influenced by their friends to engage in problem behavior depended on how much
they were exposed to those friends, and whether they and their friendship
groups "fit in" at school
Old age
As family responsibilities and vocational pressures become less, friendships
become more important. Among the elderly, friendships can provide links to the
larger community; especially for people who cannot go out as often,
interactions with friends allow for continued societal interaction.
Additionally, older adults in declining health who remain in contact with
friends show improved psychological well-being.
Although older adults prefer familiar and established relationships over new
ones, friendship formation can continue in old age. With age, elders report
that the friends to whom they feel closest are fewer in number and live in the
same community. They tend to choose friends whose age, sex, race, ethnicity,
and values are like their own. Compared with younger people, fewer older people
report other-sex friendships. Older women, in particular, have more secondary
friends—people who are not intimates, but with whom they spend time occasionally,
such as in groups that meet for lunch or bridge.
Making
a friend
Three significant factors make the
formation of a friendship possible:
- proximity, which means being near enough to see each other or do things together;
- repeatedly encountering the person informally and without making special plans to see each other; and
- opportunities to share ideas and personal feelings with each other.
Ending
a friendship
Friendships end for many different
reasons. Sometimes friends move away from each other and are forced to move on
due to the distance. Sometimes divorce causes an end to friendships, as people
drop one or both of the divorcing people. At a younger age friendships may end
as a result of acceptance into new social groups.
Friendships may end by fading quietly
away or may end suddenly. How and whether to talk about the end of a friendship
is a matter of etiquette that depends on the circumstances.
10 Benefits of Friendship
Consider the most meaningful and fulfilling moments in your life. Do they
have friendships running through them?
Through my life, every meaningful moment has been either
a direct or indirect result of friendship.
I’ve told you that before, but I’d like to share why. This is a general list
– I haven’t included specific examples of how each played out in my life. I
hope this just gives you a glimpse into why I’m enthusiastic about making
friends and developing deep connections with those around me… and why I
encourage you to do the same.
1. Hanging out together
Studies show that hanging out with friends may reduce the risk of
loneliness. 
Sure, many prefer solitude over socializing, but no one prefers loneliness.
You want to know and feel that others care about you. Friends care, but it all
starts with hanging out, just being there.
How are you hanging out?
2. Learning to communicate
The more I hang out with friends, the easier it is for me to open
up. In general, that’s probably true for you too. When you and I stop
hanging out with others, we tend to retreat into our shells even more. We begin
to forget the benefits of open communication and focus only on the fear.
Staying in near-constant contact, though, keeps us in practice.
How are you communicating?
3. Sharing ideas
Once the communication starts flowing, you end up trading ideas. Your
friends can often tell you how reasonable your ideas are, or what you might
need to do to rework them. That feedback then can help direct how you act on
those ideas and how you set your goals. And your feedback can do the same for
your friend.
How are you sharing ideas?
4. Building accountability
Ideas are worthless if you never act on them. One of the best ways to get
that action going is to create goals around them and share those goals with
your friends. Friends force you to actually work toward your goals.
That accountability only works, though, if you and your friend are willing
to share with one another and call each other out when one’s going the wrong
way. Otherwise, accountability is a charade.
How are you staying accountable?
5. Sharing stuff
Back when neighbors were neighbors, we used to share things… liberally. No
one had a problem lending out a wheelbarrow. And perhaps more interestingly, no
one had a problem asking to borrow that wheelbarrow either. Now, we know our
neighbors enough to not trust them but not enough to trust them regardless.
When you and I build accountability back into our relationships, the
opportunity to lend and give freely opens up, not because we have leverage to
“get back” at our friends if they trash our stuff but because we care enough about
them to share no matter what.
How are you sharing stuff?
6. Sharing friends
Some friends are wonderful just because of the other friends you make
through them. Know what I mean?
On Facebook, I’ve set up lists to group my friends to keep up with them better.
Most of the lists revolve around a location or organization, like church or
college, but a couple of those groups center almost completely around a
particular friend. After meeting that one person, I was exposed to all the
others who eventually became my friends.
Not everyone can be that person, but most have at least a couple friends to
share. Numbers aren’t as important as the deepness of the connections. I
certainly love sharing friends (both on the giving and receiving end) better
than sharing other stuff.
How are you sharing friends?
7. Learning new skills
As your connections grow, your friends will begin to teach you skills you
never would have pursued or, in some cases, never even known about. One example
that comes to mind for me is yo-yoing. A friend got into yo-yoing, so I
followed along. The skills can be much more profound than yo-yoing, though.
How are you learning and teaching new skills?
8. Inspiring one another
Skills are tactics. They’re detailed, but usually fairly low-level actions.
Inspiration is strategy. It changes how you live, not just how you act.
Inspiration is where you go from learning yo-yo tricks to overhauling your
career course to pursue professional entertainment.
Inspiration is hard to pinpoint, which is why we’re usually inspired by the
lives of people we admire rather than their teachings. As friends influence one
another through their specific ideas and skills, inspiration starts to form. We
see the combination of all the details in a friend’s life and decide we want to
imitate part of it. That’s when our overall, life strategies change.
How are being inspired… how are you inspiring?
9. Discipling one another
Inspiration only goes so far. From there we have to return to tactics, but
this time we apply the tactics through a completely different lens. Once
friends align at least some of their overall beliefs, they can feed off each
other, teaching one another the details of life through a particular lens.
Christianity is a perfect example. When friends decide to submit to Christ’s
leadership, they can share advice back and forth along their walk. I believe
this is the most effective form of discipleship… the form Jesus
commissioned.
How are you discipling?
10. Encouraging one another
For most of us, encouragement is what we need now. You and I don’t need new
information – we need the courage to follow-through with what we already know.
We need the courage to get
back up after we fall down.
Friends give us that encouragement. Beyond simple companionship or
instruction or inspiration, we need friends we relate to, care about, and as a
result give us a reason to continue forward.
“Friendship is born in that moment when one person says to another, ‘What!
You too? I thought I was the only one.’ ” -C. S. Lewis
Got something to add to the
discussion? Tell us in comments!
Did we miss your favourite
one-off wonder? Let us know! If you would like to comment on this story or
anything else you have seen on Oluinfotech, head over to our Facebook page
or message us on Twitter.
0 comments:
Post a Comment
Add Your Comment Below