Saturday 24 May 2014

HOW TO FIGHT FAIR IN YOUR MARRIAGE (CONFLICT MANAGEMENT IN MARRIAGE)

All married couples have arguments, or rather fights. How you fight is the key to whether or not you will have a successful, long term marriage. Fighting fairly with respect for one another is a critical marital skill that you must learn.

The way you fight can often tell psychologists more than what you fight about. If done correctly, conflict and healthy, fair fighting, can strengthen your marriage. Difficulty: Average

The Required: No more than 15 minutes-at the point call a truce and set a time to discuss the issue again here’s how:


1.         Don’t let little things that bother you build up until one of you explodes the issue into a large fight. That’s not fighting fair in your marriage.

2.        If you are angry about something and don’t try to talk about it with your spouse within 48 hours, let it go otherwise, you are not fighting fair.

3.         If your spouse doesn’t want to discuss, the matter set an appointment within the next 24 hours to have your fair fight. It is okay to go to bed angry. You need your sleep. Just make sure that the issue is addressed the next day

4.         Fighting fair means you know what the issue is then, both of you stick to the subject

5.         Keep your fight between   the two of you. Don’t bring in third parties like your mother-in-law, his best friend, or your children.

6.         Fighting fair means you don’t hit below the belt. Respect your spouse

7.         Fighting fair means you don’t bring up past history

8.         Fighting fair means no name calling. Even endearing teams and pet names can be hurtful when you are using sarcastic tone.

9.         Be careful how you use humor. Laughter is good, but teasing can be misinterpreted and can be hurtful.

10.       Listen to one another fully while you fight. This includes watching body language. Look at one another while you speak.

11.       Don’t interrupt during your fight

12.       Fighting fair means you don’t blame one another make accusations.

13.       Try to use ‘I’ sentences instead of ‘you’ sentences.

Got something to add to the discussion? Tell us in comments!

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