All married
couples have arguments, or rather fights. How you fight is the key to whether
or not you will have a successful, long term marriage. Fighting fairly with
respect for one another is a critical marital skill that you must learn.
The way you
fight can often tell psychologists more than what you fight about. If done
correctly, conflict and healthy, fair fighting, can strengthen your marriage.
Difficulty: Average
The
Required: No more than 15 minutes-at the point call a truce and set a time to
discuss the issue again here’s how:
1. Don’t
let little things that bother you build up until one of you explodes the issue
into a large fight. That’s not fighting fair in your marriage.
2. If
you are angry about something and don’t try to talk about it with your spouse
within 48 hours, let it go otherwise, you are not fighting fair.
3. If
your spouse doesn’t want to discuss, the matter set an appointment within the
next 24 hours to have your fair fight. It is okay to go to bed angry. You need
your sleep. Just make sure that the issue is addressed the next day
4. Fighting
fair means you know what the issue is then, both of you stick to the subject
5. Keep
your fight between the two of you.
Don’t bring in third parties like your mother-in-law, his best friend, or your
children.
6. Fighting
fair means you don’t hit below the belt. Respect your spouse
7. Fighting
fair means you don’t bring up past history
8. Fighting
fair means no name calling. Even endearing teams and pet names can be hurtful
when you are using sarcastic tone.
9. Be
careful how you use humor. Laughter is good, but teasing can be misinterpreted
and can be hurtful.
10. Listen
to one another fully while you fight. This includes watching body language.
Look at one another while you speak.
11. Don’t
interrupt during your fight
12. Fighting
fair means you don’t blame one another make accusations.
13. Try
to use ‘I’ sentences instead of ‘you’ sentences.
Got something to add to the discussion? Tell us in comments!
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